C C Canning
Novelist - Screenwriter
Buried Tears
Words hurt
Looks hurt
Silence hurts
The unloved sound of my name
Hurts
The untouched skin of my hand
Hurts
Being there
Hurts
And not being there
Crying
Hurts
More than buried tears
Your hurt hurts
It shames me
I cannot change it
Just as you cannot change me
And so
Words hurt
Looks hurt
Silence hurts
The unloved sound of my name
Hurts
The untouched skin of my hand
Hurts
And crying hurts
More than buried tears
Just another pig
Subject name, race and height?
Pleading guilty? Not tonight!
Don’t give me shit with your big black gun
You’re just another pig out having fun
Identification? Search my thumb.
Solicitation? Don’t touch my bum.
Eye color, hair color, sex and weight?
If you want a conviction you’ll have to wait.
Sure, take my mug shot, front and side,
Give me a number and throw me inside
Like all the others who had no cause
But don’t pat me down with your sweaty paws
Cause I ain’t surrendering without a fight
And I ain’t pleading guilty, not tonight.
So don’t give me shit with your big black gun
You’re just another pig out having fun
Ars was a terrorist
Ars Bilson was a terrorist
Though he didn’t introduce himself as such.
He wore a carbuncle on the side of his nose
And a squint you could almost touch
Ars, I thought, like Art, is where I’ll find what’s missing,
And so I fucked him,
Though only his fingers
Because Ars had his mind on other things more incendiary
Like polarity
See nothing flows, I heard Ars say,
Until good is joined to bad,
Until the tongue of happiness licks the ear of sad.
This I can understand I nodded into his hand,
But not really
Two skinny girls accompanied Ars,
One a redhead, one a blond, and they rode Ars publicly in turn,
Ten seconds, twenty, seldom more
Ars said it cleared his head.
Now Ars is dead
To Leonard
You looked at me, I saw you,
You searched the room and found me.
I know you did, you know you did;
You saw me.
You asked my name then sang it,
Caught my eye and began it.
I know you did, you know you did;
I heard it.
You blew the words towards me,
Unerring words that tore me
From my hiding place of solitude
You knew just where to find me
And you did.
And I brought you ‘tea and oranges
All the way from China’
And we lay beside the river
Gently flowing, ever knowing
That your words were meant for me
And me alone.
And all around the crowded room
A silence fell, a hush of knowing,
For you were singing just for me
Of love as it was meant to be
They knew it.
You asked my name, they told you.
I wait at night to hold you.
They say that you’ll return and soon,
Till then I’ll wait here in my room
And wrap my heart in case it breaks
Addressed to you and you alone:
To Leonard
I was not what you wanted
I was not what you wanted
No matter how I tried
Reminding you by living
Of something that had died
I had no blood or tissue
Spawned from your own
No single spore or issue
You willingly gave home
But I had no other
Belief or place to run
No sister, brother, mother
No family, friend, not one
I was not what you wanted
What you wanted died
And knowing that so clearly
Leaves me dead inside
Where do birds go to die?
We see so many flying in the sky
But where do birds go to die?
Shake the trees late at night
Beat the hedgerows and shine your light
You’ll find no birds
Because there are none to be seen
Birds you see are part of our dream
Look in the mirror as you’re walking past
Why does the image fade so fast?
Examine the glass and you’ll find it’s clear
The image you saw is no longer there
It’s gone forever
There’s nothing to retain
For nothing about us stays the same
Good thoughts, like lovers, once they are had
Turn into others, too often bad.
Moments of laughter, fun and good cheer
Dissolve into sadness, pain and fear.
To live is to die
For death is living’s other name
Only in movies can we freeze the frame
LYRICS by Chris Canning
MUSIC by Eden Iris
LISTEN TO THE DEMO TRACKS AT
It’s just the way of it
It’s not the guns that tell the story,
Not the calls to death and glory
For the ones whose blood must stain the sand.
It’s not the virgins in the sky
Or the mullahs who preach the lie
Not the faith that commands it
Or the leaders who demand it
Not the infidels from the West
Not even Allah’s final test
… It’s just the way of it
It’s not the hand you pressed in mine
As we swam in pools of sparkling wine
Chasing dreams we thought were ours alone.
It’s not the gifts I brought to you
Or the vows of love, however true,
The spilled seeds of barren lust
Or the ebbing tide of broken trust
That pulled us down and kept us there
Consumed by doubt, consumed by fear
… It’s just the way of it
And when we pass our stories on
Of hopes now faded, dreams long gone,
They’ll believe for them it won’t be so.
They’ll find reasons to explain
The cause of someone else’s pain,
Why love for them will be undying
And trust survive without their trying;
How the world that is and the world that was
Is made for them and that’s because
… It’s just the way of it
It’s just the way of it,
There’s nothing more
No dreams left over to hold in store
No past mistakes that can’t be undone
No last redemption, nowhere to run.
Lay down, surrender, and as you do
Try to remember that it wasn’t you
… It was just the way of it
What now (my phoney lover)
Suggesting we should part
Is not the best thing for my heart
Or saying it’s all for good
When I know that
I never would
If left to me
And I could have my way
So what now my phoney lover
What now my prince of easy come
My prince of easy go
Do you believe I can’t
Well of course I can
And should I try not to cry
Not to beg, not to die
Or even call goodbye
And find a lover
That I can trust
So what now my phoney lover
What now my prince of easy come
My prince of easy go
Do you believe I can’t
Well of course I can
Saying we’ll be the best of friends
As if that’s how love always ends
Is just like saying it never was
More than just pretence
Should I wave and call goodbye
And find a lover I can trust
And speak of you as my best friend
As if that’s how love always ends
What now my phoney lover
What now my prince of easy come
My prince of easy go
Do you believe I can’t
Well of course I can
What fine words should I utter
Confident without a stutter
As I walk away
What now my phoney lover
What now my prince of easy come
My prince of easy go
Do you believe I can’t
Well of course I can